Ok, so here's what the blurbs on the cover promise: "A major new fantasy epic begins", "a writer set to rule the genre", " - packed with political intrigue, explosive action and compelling drama".
After finishing the book I have come to the conclusion that only the following things are true: "A major new...begins", "A writer", "packed with political intrigue"...
This is quite possibly the most massive fantasy book I've read, with the least impressive world-building, and the least amount of actual fantasy elements. There's only one witch in the entire 700-page tome (if you discount Salimbene who is sort of just lurking around in the shadows and talking through dead babies' heads), who basically just makes ink and has sex with people. That's it!
And the world-building? What world-building? There's not a single original thought put into this world, and its duchies of Hemen and Clarcia, Harcia and Clemen? Bah, let's just call them England and Scotland, and lets make the Green Isles Ireland, and Cassinia can be France or something(the names Humbert, Roric, Harald and Vidar and Berardine do have a familiar taste to them). It doesn't really matter. What matters is that there isn't a single creature, plant or bird that we haven't seen before, the names might be new (and sometimes not even that), but there isn't really anything that shows the reader that this is, in fact, a fantasy novel, and not just historical fiction.
Even the laws governing the duchies are old news.
Oh, so only men can rule? Haven't heard that one before.
Women are second rate citizens, you say? That's original.
Peasants aren't allowed to wield swords and have armour, and are oppressed and mistreated by the nobility...yeah, ok.
The old gods and beliefs are outlawed in favour of The New One True God? And all witchcraft is considered blasphemy? That's some impressive stuff, right there.
You call people who are trained in sword fighting men-at-arms instead of guards and soldiers? Well, that doesn't get annoying after the 20th time, not at all.
Northern raiders attacking the Green Isles? Really?
Almost all the characters are terrible people, and wholly unlikeable. Not in a cool anti-hero way, just in a I hate these people-way.
Balfre is an asshole that just wants to shit all over everything. He's a cockshite who enjoys havey-cavey and rough-tumbling and jousting. A bully and brute, who doesn't understand what he needs to do to gain his father's grace, even though said father tells him explicitly and repeatedly. And yet he is supposed to be the mastermind behind some machavellian plan to overtake Clemen and turn Harcia into a kingdom? Yeah, nah.
Roric is a bastard, and everything he touches turns to shit, because he doesn't have enough noble blood in him. He is a pizzle, a dolt and a cuckolded diddle-daddle, who can't produce an heir to save his life. And this makes him a bad duke. Bad duke, Roric! This is also the guy who kills kids, but is reluctant to go to war against Balfre, although Balfre is bad news, and has been openly preparing for war for years!Oh, and he falls in love with a 14-year-old after meeting her once and pines for her for years afterwards.
Humbert is a dick who orders everyone to clap tongue, and does whatever he wants even though he hurts people and ruin their lives. But it's okay, because he is doing it for the greater good or something. Also, he has a beard and has been Roric's foster-lord and that gives him extra-special rights to be extra dickish, and clap tongue all ye curs't cockshites and pizzle-waggers, or I'll knock you on your fiddly arses, like a babe unhorsed in a mimbly-bimbly tilt yard!
Lindara is an asshole that loves Vidar, is angry with her father(Humbert) and takes it out on Roric, because he was pressured into marrying her, and she said it was ok, and now he's a horrible, terrible bastard, although they have been friends for years.
Vidar is a cripple, loves Lindara, is angry with Humbert, takes it out on Roric.
Liam is the super-special kid that must survive at all cost because of special reasons and because he is heir to The Falcon Throne, and he really wants to kill Humbert and Roric, but doesn't because of super-special reasons that has to do with plot and stuff. Or because he is an annoying teenager who can't make up his mind.I don't know. He is noble-born, which makes him specialler and better than everyone else.
Grefin is okay. But wide-eyed stupid when it comes to Balfre.
The prose is a chore to get through; a lot of unnecessary hyphenated words, weird archaic turns of phrase and swear words, vernacular language used in dialogue between commoners (peasants be dumb so deys talks dumb), and stilted, old-fashioned language used in dialogue between nobles( Forsooth, would you make of me a fool for pledging myself to you, my Graciest of Dukes?).
The action scenes are about as exciting as watching two chihuahuas barking at each other through a fence. There's a lot of barking, not a whole lot of biting. And when there's biting it's really tame, like the aforementioned dogs had all their teeth pulled out and now just snap at each other with their pinkish gums. Everything about the skirmishes and "battles" is just so terribly underwhelming... And that's the problem with the book as a whole; everything is underwhelming, but made out later to be a lot more impressive and dramatic than it really was (like Catrain's role in the saving of the horses from the burning stables). And some of the events seem to be tacked on as an afterthought, like the raiders from the north and the entire plotline involving them. We go 3-400 pages without a single mention of raiders (even though the Green Isles have had trouble with them before), and then ALL OF A SUDDEN they are EVERWHERE. Ehm, what?
But, in the book's defense, there is a lot of political intrigue...it's just extremely and unecessarily convoluted, time-consuming, and boring. It feels like there's A LOT of filler, for a plot that can't really carry an entire book, or a series, for that matter.
I see that this book is often compared to Game of Thrones, and the comparison is accurate if you remove the dragons, the magic, the White Walkers, the sex and the violence from Game of Thrones. What you're left with then is The Falcon Throne, and that's apparently enough for some. It wasn't enough for me. I crave fantasy with a little more flash and pizzaz, more explosions, more show-downs and a little more of everything that makes EPIC FANTASY epic fantasy. Not just epic in terms of the length of the series and the span of time covered, but as in scope and awesomeness. And when I say fantasy I don't mean it has to be the whole nine yards with dragons, elves, wizards and magic swords, but at least give me a little more than one pathetic letter-forging, rune-scribbling, red-haired witch-woman who lives by herself in a cottage!!!
And what's with the all doublets? Why doesn't anyone wear anything else?! And it's all leather and velvet...and maybe I spotted some silk on page 238, maybe. Seriously, this book made me miss Robert Jordan's excruciatingly long descriptions...of everything.
tl;dr
I was horribly disappointed by everything, except maybe Grefin. The prologue was cool, though.